Preston Lee Metcalf was 83 years old when he passed away this past Saturday August 1, 2015.
There are several events that happened that day that for me are incontrovertible truth of divine intervention, and the granting of mercy in the passing of a man. I can't go into all of that here. Still trying to reckon with it.
Preston had known for the last couple of years that he had an inoperable aneurism on his spine. He had it checked regularly, and on his last Dr. visit a few months ago, the Dr. had "the talk" with him. No need for more appts. Get your affairs in order, and enjoy your family.
My Mother In Law called- in a panic about 10:30 a.m. - that he was un-responsive. We called EMS - and ambulance arrived within 5 minutes. The shocked him, and got him back, then off to the hospital E.R.
We got there very shortly after that, and as soon as they got him stabilized, and some pain meds, we were assigned a room. Comfort care was all that we could do. We managed - miraculously to get all the family members, and his pastor there. When asked if there is anything he wanted - have asked for his family to sing some of their favorite songs. He said that we was going to a place where there was no pain. He talked to everyone that had come to see him, he did his best to give them peace - to not be sad for him. At about 4:20 p.m. He drifted off to sleep, peacefully. No pain. Ever again.
I appreciate you all - and your thoughts and prayers very much. My Mother in Law is not equipped to handle her life without her husband of 59 - almost 60 years. I will be tied up with a lot of things this week, and beyond.... and the realization of the gravity of this loss is beginning to sink in.
Hard to imagine in this day and age, but they were truly a 1950's "traditional roles" couple. She has never written a check. She has never put gas in a car. She cooked, and cleaned, walked the girls ( my wife and her sister) to school and back every day until my wife was in the 5th grade. That is when she decided it was time to learn to drive. Lots of funny stories about that - for another time... Preston did all else. He did all things pertaining to the roles models of a by-gone era, in the belief that was the right and honorable way to live. Truly an exemplary man's man. I watched him always do the right, moral, an ethical thing in any circumstance. And he did it with full consideration and humility.
The two of them sang and played instruments ( members of the family have been professionals in Gospel and Bluegrass music, playing long term with Bill Monroe and others...) and their favorite way to spend time was at churches and gatherings playing and sing traditional gospel in the harmonies and styles one only hears in Appalachia. They would spend time at various shelters for the homeless doing such as well.
An example of the most successful era of middle class America, and the best of American society they were hard working middle class folks, and appreciative of everything. They alway had a big garden, and canned, and gave away enough food every year to feed Patton's army. Preston was the Lawn and Garden Manager for Sears in Asheville NC during Sears heyday. He bought the plant stock, consulted with folks on gardening techniques - and delivered, set up and demonstrated tractors and implements in all the hills and hollers around Western NC. When I took him out for lunch occasionally I had to plan on a "3 hour tour" - because EVERYONE in town knew him - and loved him. So, it was a hand-shaking party all the way to, during, and on the return from lunch
I told him several times that if he would run for mayor, he would win in a landslide. But, he was not a man that would ever tell a lie - so he had no actual future as a politician.
But, there is a Metcalf Overlook" high in a mountain pass up near the NC/TN state line on I-26
https://foursquare.com/v/metcalf-overlook/4c2b479c77cfe21e5c31b4f1I used to tease him about being from the "nosebleed section" of Madison County
And that you couldn't shake a tree in those parts without a Metcalf falling out of it. There are Metcalfe Creeks, and so on...They are a "propagational success" as a clan.
These are folks that valued order and civility as their privilege, and obligate to being a good friend, neighbor and citizen. He was like a a quiet John Wayne mixed with Ward Cleaver. I have never heard him utter a harsh word about ANYONE. Literally. I have never heard him curse or say a "purple word". Ever. He was not pious, or condescending. When he did discipline his children, or offer counsel - NEVER was it done in a manner of castigation, shame or embarrassment of anyone. He was truly the father of the community he lived in, with many "non-children" becoming his kids. When you look at the family photo albums, they are riddled with photos of many neighbor kids of all complexions and kinds. It did not matter. They needed love, and a sense of family, safety, food. Preston and Susie never rejected anyone that needed help.
While I admired this....you can imagine the work ahead, to assist my Mother in Law with managing the affairs of her household now.
Still, I feel this a great privileged to be of any assistance I can. You see - I am lucky. I have been "grafted-in". Twice
.... The second time, into a family whose love for everyone was not showy, or false. It is as genuine, and humble - and real as in any old movie you have seen.
As I grow older, I truly hope that God grants me the peace, strength and wisdom that he gifted Preston Metcalf - who showed me by example. Not words. He did not say a lot. When he did, it was always worth hearing with your mind and your heart.
