Let's Talk BBQ

General => General Discussion & Topics => General Discussion => Topic started by: smokeasaurus on November 15, 2014, 07:30:29 PM

Title: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: smokeasaurus on November 15, 2014, 07:30:29 PM
As if it wasn't bad enough losing Mama 74 days ago......now we lost our Dad.  Wasn't feeling good about 2 weeks ago. Thought he had a stomach flu. My kids took him to emergency and he was suffering mild kidney failure due to dehydration. They got that fixed and he was almost discharged and that night he vomited and it entered his lungs.........he made it another week.............it was devastating to see my hero take his last breath............

I aint getting over this anytime soon.................. :'( :'(
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: tlg4942 on November 15, 2014, 07:38:55 PM
Sorry for you loss .
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: GusRobin on November 15, 2014, 07:40:49 PM
My deepest sympathy. There is nothing that can be said to ease your pain. Only time can heal and that will take a while. I will pray that the Lord will speed the time it takes for the pain of grief to become the warmth of memories.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Pam Gould on November 15, 2014, 07:46:01 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this..it's tough when both your parents are gone and so close together. Only time will help heal your grief. Wishing you all the time you need.  Pam  .☆´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: hikerman on November 15, 2014, 07:46:20 PM
So very sorry to hear of your loss Smoke. You have our deepest sympathy. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this very difficult time. Hang in there friend we are thinking of you!
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: TentHunteR on November 15, 2014, 07:47:26 PM
Smoke I am truly sorry for your loss, especially so close in time to losing your Mom.

I am glad you have Wendy to help prop you up during this time.  I too will be praying for you and your family!
Title: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Pappymn on November 15, 2014, 07:53:12 PM
Oh man, that really sucks. I am really sorry for your loss.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: muebe on November 15, 2014, 07:57:12 PM
Smoke I am so sorry...
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: sliding_billy on November 15, 2014, 08:06:00 PM
My condolences Smoke.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: jjjonz on November 15, 2014, 08:39:46 PM
Sorry for your loss...our prayers are with y'all.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: deestafford on November 15, 2014, 08:52:02 PM
I know what it is to lose both parents, but I can't imagine the pain of losing them so close together.  My prayers are going out to you and your family.  There are no words that can lessen your pain.  Dee
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Smokin Don on November 15, 2014, 09:14:26 PM
Sorry to hear that Smoke. I know your feeling. Don
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: ACW3 on November 15, 2014, 09:17:40 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss.  You and your family are in out prayers.

Art
Title: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Northshore on November 15, 2014, 09:29:02 PM
Sorry for your loss, prayers are with you
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: HighOnSmoke on November 15, 2014, 09:40:08 PM
I am really sorry to hear this Scott. Our prayers are with you and Wendy.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Las Vegan Cajun on November 15, 2014, 10:49:42 PM
My condolences to your family, may he RIP with the loved ones that have gone before him.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Smokin Soon on November 15, 2014, 11:52:31 PM
I have been through this and I feel your pain, but it does help to do a mind rewind and think about all of the good memories of you and your Pop. It takes time.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: pz on November 16, 2014, 02:36:37 AM
I am so sorry for your loss, smoke.  I lost my pops nearly 3 decades ago and I remember it as if it was today, but time does heal the hurt - just takes lots of it.  Lost him two weeks before the birth of my first son - his first grandson.  He had purchased a Krugerand for my wife to celebrate his birth - never got the chance to give it to her.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: sparky on November 16, 2014, 02:57:52 AM
I am really sorry smoke.   :(
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Hub on November 16, 2014, 07:59:12 AM
Words are gone in a second, but memories last a lifetime.  Lifetimes are but a second of eternity, too, so pain is real but fleeting.  Remember all the good times and be faithful to be rejoined in eternity.  Thoughts and prayers are with you . . .

Hub
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: CDN Smoker on November 16, 2014, 08:42:11 AM
Sorry for your loss smoke.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Keymaster on November 16, 2014, 09:35:06 AM
So sorry to hear about your Dad Scott.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: TwoPockets on November 16, 2014, 09:44:33 AM
Sorry to hear you lost both parents so close together. We will keep you and the family in our thoughts and prayers.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: IR2dum on November 16, 2014, 10:43:30 AM
smoke, prayers for you and your family.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: MoHuka on November 16, 2014, 11:03:10 AM
So sorry....you have my sympathy
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: TMB on November 16, 2014, 02:01:33 PM
So sorry to hear Smoke. 

You have had a rough year and this just adds to it.     Kimmie and I will keep  y'all in our thoughts and prayers
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Saber 4 on November 16, 2014, 02:33:38 PM
Condolences, you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Savannahsmoker on November 16, 2014, 04:18:21 PM
Our condolences and prayers to you and your family
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: aliengriller on November 16, 2014, 05:24:07 PM
So sorry for your additional loss.   Can't imagine the pain  you are having.   My dad has been gone for over 30 yrs, my mom 17.  Think of both of them daily, remembering good times (and a few not so good).   I know they loved me and that is comforting.   My God be with you and keep you strong as you grieve.   It gets easier, but you never forget them.   
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Scallywag on November 17, 2014, 07:55:02 AM
So sorry to hear Smoke. You will be in my families thoughts.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: smokeasaurus on November 17, 2014, 01:28:52 PM
I would like to take this chance to thank each and everyone of you for all your kind thoughts. I have read them over and over and your responses have brought me some peace and comfort in this very difficult time.

 Got to get back to the patio and Que.....Mom and Dad wouldn't have it any other way..........

which reminds me:

My Dad loves the Portable Kitchen aluminum grill that my neighbor has. We were gonna get him one cause he really liked the retro look. If anyone knows of one that might be for sale before I grab a new one, I would really appreciate it, gotta still get the grill for Pops..............
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: drholly on November 17, 2014, 02:53:27 PM
Smoke - I just saw this. My heart breaks for you. You and your bride are in my prayers.

I am going out to ND to spend Thanksgiving with my Dad - he has basically quit living since my mom died. I empathize with your loss.

I wish you the best and thank you for your comments as I deal with my own demons.

I look forward to trading some great recipes with you soon!

D
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: SmokinKat on November 17, 2014, 05:29:28 PM
Oh Smoke, what a blow...  You guys will be in our thoughts/prayers as you're grieving. 
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: smokeasaurus on November 17, 2014, 09:29:00 PM
Smoke - I just saw this. My heart breaks for you. You and your bride are in my prayers.

I am going out to ND to spend Thanksgiving with my Dad - he has basically quit living since my mom died. I empathize with your loss.

I wish you the best and thank you for your comments as I deal with my own demons.

I look forward to trading some great recipes with you soon!

D

I wish you all the best David. My Dad's heart was broken and he just did not have the will or strength or desire to fight his illness. It is going to be a very quiet Holiday Season around my house this year....mostly reflecting on happier times..that will be my gift to myself this year........
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: fishingbouchman on November 17, 2014, 09:48:44 PM
Sorry for your loss.  You will be in our prayers at out turkey table.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: drholly on November 17, 2014, 10:51:15 PM
Smoke - I just saw this. My heart breaks for you. You and your bride are in my prayers.

I am going out to ND to spend Thanksgiving with my Dad - he has basically quit living since my mom died. I empathize with your loss.

I wish you the best and thank you for your comments as I deal with my own demons.

I look forward to trading some great recipes with you soon!

D

Smoke, my thoughts and prayers are with you now and for this season. Christmas has been hard for me for many years. But I found a new song that is my Christmas song. I hope this means something to you as well.

http://fascinately.com/feel-good/2014/11/incredible-performance-of-mary-did-you-know-will-get-you-in-christmas-spirit/

My very best to you,

David

I wish you all the best David. My Dad's heart was broken and he just did not have the will or strength or desire to fight his illness. It is going to be a very quiet Holiday Season around my house this year....mostly reflecting on happier times..that will be my gift to myself this year........
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: deestafford on November 18, 2014, 09:49:57 AM
One of the things Smoke posted I think we need to look at very closely.  If you have a loved one that is getting on up in years and you want to do something for them they you think they will like, such as the grill Smoke mentioned,  don't wait for a special time such as Christmas or birthday.  Do it now! They may not be around for that special time.  Afterall, we give because we think the loved one deserves and would  like/enjoy whatever it is and just use the special occasion as the time to do it. To someone of our loved ones...just the sun coming up today is a special occasion.

 Love them while they are here.
  Dee
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: drholly on November 18, 2014, 10:54:32 AM
One of the things Smoke posted I think we need to look at very closely.  If you have a loved one that is getting on up in years and you want to do something for them they you think they will like, such as the grill Smoke mentioned,  don't wait for a special time such as Christmas or birthday.  Do it now! They may not be around for that special time.  Afterall, we give because we think the loved one deserves and would  like/enjoy whatever it is and just use the special occasion as the time to do it. To someone of our loved ones...just the sun coming up today is a special occasion.

 Love them while they are here.
  Dee

Thank you for that observation, Dee. You are so right.

Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: TwoPockets on November 18, 2014, 11:50:10 AM
You are so right Dee. I lost my wife after she battled cancer for over 6 years. We had plenty of time to say goodbye and while it was extremely hard, there was nothing left unsaid. I lost my Mom almost 2 years later and that was a phone call telling me she was killed in a boating accident. I did not get to say goodbye or to prepare. My Dad is 95 and living in the VA nursing home. The dementia has taken him away a little bit at a time over the last several years. He doesn't know who I am anymore and most days doesn't know where he is or why. Even though my Dad is not really still in that shell I dread the day I lose him  forever.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: hikerman on November 18, 2014, 06:34:38 PM
There is no easy goodbye to those we love. The shock of the first loved one to pass is terrible, but it does not ever get easier. Tell the people that you love, that you love them, often, it may be your last opportunity!
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: africanmeat on November 19, 2014, 01:09:40 PM
Smoke you got my deepest sympathy.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: drholly on November 19, 2014, 01:37:22 PM
There is no easy goodbye to those we love. The shock of the first loved one to pass is terrible, but it does not ever get easier. Tell the people that you love, that you love them, often, it may be your last opportunity!

Gene, you are so right. I have had the experience of the instant death - a suicide and the lingering death - my mom with leukemia... neither are good or easy... I pray for everyone facing this.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Big Dawg on November 20, 2014, 06:16:23 PM
Smoke, I am so sorry for your loss.  My parents have just turned 80 and I am so worried that when one of them passes, my family will go through exactly what your family is now going through.

I will keep all of you in my prayers.





BD
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: smokeasaurus on November 21, 2014, 12:14:42 PM
We had a double funeral yesterday for Pops and Mama. It was a nice simple service and we had a nice reception at my brothers house. My Pops to remaining brothers were there. My Dad was the youngest of all the boys and the two remaining is 92 and 89 years of age. Looks like old smoke comes from good stock.

Driving back to the mountain yesterday I observed I didn't feel near as bad as I thought I would. It was nice to see long lost family members and I got to talk to my older sister for the first time (Pops had her before he met our Mama).

Below is a link to a photo my sister in law took at the ceremony

I guess you can mourn and heal at the same time.............

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10205031209279372&set=a.4651789532188.2188891.1216740183&type=1&theater
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: TwoPockets on November 21, 2014, 05:24:06 PM
As sad as funeral services can be there is comfort in family and friends getting together and remembering all the good things and good times. It does help ease the pain.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: smokeasaurus on November 24, 2014, 08:57:04 PM
My brother found this picture of our parents back in the day.....I just can't believe they both left us so fast........sorry for being such a downer these days.....

(http://i1213.photobucket.com/albums/cc469/s1cott11/10426162_10205058663445709_8611577697834735349_n_zpse9cf671a.jpg) (http://s1213.photobucket.com/user/s1cott11/media/10426162_10205058663445709_8611577697834735349_n_zpse9cf671a.jpg.html)
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Pam Gould on November 24, 2014, 10:33:43 PM
Look how pretty your mom and dad was. I remember my gma wearing dresses like that. Smoke..it does get better but it takes some time. It will be alright...later..hang in.  Pam   .☆´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: pz on November 24, 2014, 11:07:31 PM
........sorry for being such a downer these days.....

Not a downer... I'm pleased that you share your family and wonderful memories with us
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: hikerman on November 24, 2014, 11:33:15 PM
That's a very nice photo of your mom and dad Smoke! They look like they're having a fine time and are very happy!
And now that they are together again, I'm sure they will be forever happy!

Smoke no apologies for how you feel. You have been thru a lot recently. And we're all friends,  so amigo if you're sad, we're sad with you! ;)
Title: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Pappymn on November 24, 2014, 11:49:15 PM

That's a very nice photo of your mom and dad Smoke! They look like they're having a fine time and are very happy!
And now that they are together again, I'm sure they will be forever happy!

Smoke no apologies for how you feel. You have been thru a lot recently. And we're all friends,  so amigo if you're sad, we're sad with you! ;)

X2
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: teesquare on November 25, 2014, 12:28:44 AM
Smoke - You hang in there buddy. We are here for you, and I hope you know that is true.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: TwoPockets on November 25, 2014, 07:06:37 AM
Great picture Smoke! They look very elegant. Hang in there and remember the good times.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: muebe on November 25, 2014, 08:56:37 AM
Smoke I just lost a good friend last month to cancer. He was actually my ex father-in-law from my first marriage and we still stayed close even after his daughter and I divorced. He and his wife even participated in my wedding with my current wife. I met him when I was 20 years old and I am now 39.

It was really tough watching him die. The cancer took him in 8 months from diagnosis to death. He was missing a gene that most people have that will battle the cancer he had so his body just let the cancer take over.

It has been real tough because honestly this guy was 10 times a father to me than my real father.

Sounds like you and your pops were real close and he sounds like he was a great man.

And your not being a downer. I understand how you feel. It has been a month and I have been in a better mood but I still think about him everyday. Things will get better over time. And you have the support of your new wife and beautiful scenery at your new home to help you through it...
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: smokeasaurus on November 25, 2014, 01:06:29 PM
I have been offered counseling two times through hospice and I have turned them down.

All I need is Beer, Kingsford and all of you  :-* :-* :-* :-*

Wendy and I thank you from the bottoms of our hearts
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: IR2dum on November 25, 2014, 01:16:44 PM
smoke, we're here for you, buddy.
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Las Vegan Cajun on November 25, 2014, 04:35:13 PM
I have been offered counseling two times through hospice and I have turned them down.

All I need is Beer, Kingsford and all of you  :-* :-* :-* :-*

Wendy and I thank you from the bottoms of our hearts

That's the way to do it.  You'll never see a BBQ pit and a keg at a therapist office, because all their clients would be cured and their business would dry up.  8)
Title: Re: i lost my Pops last Thursday night
Post by: Old Hickory on November 25, 2014, 07:16:45 PM
That is a beautiful picture of two very happy and pretty people.   We all know your pain, but hang in there.  Sometimes it is hardest during the Holidays, but the memories are great and helpful.