I'm sure y'all already know and are doing this...

[deestafford]

I know y'all have heard this before:

I may forget what you say. 
I may forget what you do.
          but
I will never forget how you made me feel.

The other day I was reading something and the above came to mind.  It was an article or something in a book about complimenting people and we don't do it enough.  All sane and normal people like compliments.  The point of this article was to compliment at least two people a day.

I've been trying to do it and would like to tell y'all about two of them. I look for people doing something that perhaps nobody notices what they may do even though their job is very important in the overall scheme of things.  The first one was in the parking lot at Costco.  This young fellow (it seems each year there are more and more fellows who are younger)  corralling and pushing the shopping carts back to the entrance of the store.

I said to him, "This place would really be a mess if it was not for the job you are doing with those carts."  He just smiled and said, "Thank you sir. I really try to make sure it's done right."

The second one was today when I went to the Army commissary at Fort Gordon.  I needed to go to the bathroom and the cleaning lady was standing outside waiting to go in as someone was using it.  I went in and when I came out I said to her,  "Do you realize how important it is to this place the outstanding work you do with these bathrooms?"  She beamed as if I had given her a $20 bill and grinned and thank me profusely.  Later on in the store she saw me again as I was shopping and just smiled and beamed again.

I doubt very seriously if either of these people get thanked for the important work they do in keeping a place functioning well.

So, y'all may want to try sincerely complimenting a few people each day.  I try to get the folks who most likely don't get many, if any, for the menial job they do, but Lord we would surely notice if it  was not done.  Initially, it takes some concentrated effort but it'll get easier and you'll eagerly look for an opportunity to  maybe completely turn someone's day around.

Dee

[sparky]

I love what you wrote.  Very wise and a kind word  is a easy thing to do.  Well said dee.

[muebe]

So many people rarely make eye contact let alone a simple hello. Thanks for sharing Dee!

I am sure they appreciated your kind words more than you know

[deestafford]

Mike,  You make a good point about eye contact.  It goes right along with shaking hands.  I hate to grab a "cold fish" or a hand with just four limp fingers. I find making eye contact by looking at the person's right eye works well.  I always try to give a firm handgrip and sometime will grasp the other person's right arm just above the wrist with my left hand while looking them in the right eye.

Have you ever noticed the phoniest of a person shaking hands with a number of people and they are looking at the next person in line while shaking still shaking hands with someone.

I've seen a few people who no matter how many people want to talk to them or how many want to shake their hand, have the skill and ability to make the person they are shaking hands with or talking with feel they are the most important person in the world at that moment by looking them in the eye and engaging them if only for a brief moment.

A master of that is Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.  He was here in Augusta for a dedication of a new court house and he was there for hours after it was over talking with everyone who stood in line to see him.  Never once did he rush and it was notice and appreciated by all...including those whom I would call his enemies. The people there will never forget that quality he showed and hopefully some learned from it.

Dee

[drholly]

Dee - we all like to tease you about your photographic skills. But, your perception and appreciation of people is something we should all embrace. I know I do. To look at any individual and appreciate them for themselves... having nothing to do with their "job" or "position" is a talent that we should all use. To bring a smile to anyone you meet is special. While we have not met, I know I could see you on the street and recognize you instantly. There would be a glow from all of the people you met as we walked toward each other.

Dee, thank you for who you are. I was in ND with my dad and siblings this past week. You were one of our main topics. Your love of life and people was the discussion. The parents among us agreed that if we could help our kids understand the way you looked at things, we would be doing a good job. Thank you.

[spuds]

Great post.When somebody does a good job,I tell em! If its a store I tell them then go to the web site and tell management.

I dont understand why people can be so rude,self centered and selfish.WHY? Makes no sense to me. And you reap what you sow I so believe ,and bad Karma comes right back at you,everything has a response.

[TentHunteR]

An excellent post and very wise words, Dee.

We all like to feel important, and this is one of those times when we can all pay it forward.

Thank you sir!

[HighOnSmoke]

Fantastic post Dee! Truer words have never been said!

[deestafford]

Thank  y'all for the kind words.  Years ago I either read or heard someone say we are the product of three things: The books we read; the people we meet, and I can't remember the third. 

Reading is one of the greatest things in the world to me.  The internet is just such a fantastic source of knowledge for me as well as still buying books.  Both e-books and hard copies.  I just bought six last week and love going to estate sales to buy more.  Unfortunately, I can't read 'em all but I love being surrounded by what seem to be shelves of friends.  When I die in the next 43 years someone will get a chance to get their hands on some wonderful friends.  Hopefully, that will be my grandson.

A tremendous source of knowledge I have mentioned before---TheGreatCourses.com--if you have a chance check it out.

One fault I have that I continue to wrestle with is keeping my mouth shut and listening more when I'm with people.  Please try helping me with that at the Gathering in three months.

[muebe]

One saying that always comes to my mind is "Some people truly listen while others are just waiting for their turn to talk"

I am guilty of this. My personality is that of I need to fix this or solve that. But sometimes the other person does not want you to solve their problem. They just want to tell you about it. They want to be heard. They just want you to listen.

As Dee stated a firm handshake, eye contact, confidence, and your attention are great non-verbal communication skills that show that your respect the other person. My Dad always told me you look a man in the eye when your talking to them.

Seems to be a lost art nowadays 

[TwoPockets]

Thanks Uncle Dee, a very insightful post.

[Las Vegan Cajun]

I dont understand why people can be so rude,self centered and selfish.WHY? Makes no sense to me. And you reap what you sow I so believe ,and bad Karma comes right back at you,everything has a response.

No better words have been said, I believe the same way.  It also works with honesty, cheat someone a little today and....well you know what happens. 

[Jaxon]

Dee, have I ever told you what great insight your bring to this forum and how important that is.

Thank you, sir...

[TwoPockets]

In the latter part of my career with the phone company I was Senior Technical Manager with the job of designing and getting implemented very complex, very expensive and very critical projects. To make this happen there were dozens of people involved, none of who directly worked for or reported to me. I basically had ultimate responsibility for the job to get done but no real authority over anyone involved. Most of the critical people involved were hourly union employees and since I had worked my way up from the same jobs I knew there were many ways they could slow down or even sabotage your work and there would be nothing I could do about it. It was not hard for me because I just fell back on what my Mom and Dad taught me. Treat people with respect and like you would would want them to treat you. When I was in a bind a call with "I really need your help" and "Thank you" instead of "you have to do this now or else" would get the job done. Buying a cup of coffee now and then or sending a dozen doughnuts for a work group always brought in tons of good payback. For a long time I made sure to do what I called "a random act of kindness" at least once a week where I would think of someone who had especially saved my butt and write a commendation email to their manager and district manager. When they tack those up on the bulletin board next to the coffee machine you know next time you need help it will be coming.

Some of folks I worked with could never understand why my projects always were done on time and correctly and theirs were always in trouble. It was simple, let them know that what they do is important and that you appreciate it, don't look down on or talk down to them because you have a more important title or make more money. It is just a matter of respect.

[Las Vegan Cajun]

Some of folks I worked with could never understand why my projects always were done on time and correctly and theirs were always in trouble. It was simple, let them know that what they do is important and that you appreciate it, don't look down on or talk down to them because you have a more important title or make more money. It is just a matter of respect.

Same here, the last 11 years of my career I was a manager and I also moved up from the group of union technicians.  Upon my appointment to a management position I also resigned from the union but remained on good terms with them, as best as a manager could, sometimes that was difficult too.  But I treated all the fellow technicians with the same respect I would want them to give me.  I never went up to any of them and ordered them to do anything.  I'd ask them if they would mind looking into this project and they were eager to do so, we got so much more accomplished with minimum hassles that way.  Upper management always told me that my work center was the best running of them all, we rarely had any visits, except for orientation visits for a new boss, from upper management because they knew how well we worked together and didn't need to check up on us.  Also the overwhelimg positive feedback upper managemt got from our customers was proof that we worked together like a well seasoned smoker.