While shopping for vacation clothes, my
husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten
years and twenty pounds since
I had even considered buying a bathing
suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I
get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd
never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,
'Can you tell me how long it'll take to
fly from San Francisco to New York
City ?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up!!
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him
if he can remove a curse he has been
living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will
have to tell me the exact words that were
used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation,
'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
A little boy went up to his father and asked:
'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have
got it from your mother, cause I still have
mine.'
