Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES'.
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore...
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN'.
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE'.
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY'.
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION'.
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE'.
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
'LOW COST PROVIDER'.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY'.
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
'OVERLY CAUCASIAN'.
3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS'.
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION'.
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION'.
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE'.
