Author Topic: Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!  (Read 631 times)

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Offline CaptJack

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Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
« Reply #-1 on: July 22, 2014, 12:56:27 PM »
Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE (Amherst, Mass.)


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: What are your green fees?
Staff: 38 dollars.
Caller: Does that include golf?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I need to get some information from you.
First, is this your correct phone number?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, we have a tee time - two weeks from Friday.
Do you know what the weather is going to be like that day?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I'm running late.
Can you still get me out early?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have one of those areas where you can buy a bucket of golf balls and hit them for practice?
Staff: You mean a driving range?
Caller: No, that's not it..,,,

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I'd like to get a tee time tomorrow between 12 o'clock and noon.
Staff: Between 12 o'clock and noon?
Caller: Yes.
Staff: We'll try to squeeze you in.

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have any open tee times around 10 o'clock?
Staff: Yes, we have one at 10:15.
Caller: What's the next time after that?
Staff: We have one at 10:22.
Caller: We'll take that one. It will be a bit warmer.

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: How much to play golf today?
Staff: 25 to walk, 38 with a cart.
Caller: 38 dollars?
Staff: No, 38 yen.

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: What do you have for tee times tomorrow?
Staff: What time would you like?
Caller: What times do you have?
Staff: What time of the day?
Caller: Any time.
Staff: Morning or afternoon?
Caller: Whenever.
Staff: We have 16 times open in the morning and 20 open in the afternoon.
Would you like me to read the whole list?
Caller: No, I don't think any of those times will work for me.

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have a dress code?
Staff: Yes, we do. We require soft spikes.
Caller: How about clothes?
Staff: Yes, you have to wear clothes.

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?
Staff: Yes.
Caller: How much for a bucket of large balls?
Staff: Sorry, we're all out of large balls.
But we can give you twice as many small balls for the same price.

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Can I get a tee time for tomorrow?
Staff: Sure, what time would you like?
Caller: Something between 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock.
... In the morning, if possible.

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you rent golf clubs there?
Staff: Yes, they're 25 dollars.
Caller: How much to rent a bag?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, my husband just called me on his cell phone and told me he's on the 15th hole.
How many more holes does he have to play before he gets to the 18th?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?
Staff: Yes.
Caller: How much for a large bucket?
Staff: Four dollars.
Caller: Does that include the balls?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have a twilight rate?
Staff: Yes, it's 15 dollars after 2 o'clock.
Caller: And what time does that start?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I'd like some info about your golf course.
Staff: OK, what would you like to know?
Caller: I don't know, that's why I called.

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: My kids just came home with pockets full of range balls and said
they took them from your driving range. Would you like to buy them back?
« Last Edit: July 22, 2014, 01:01:43 PM by CaptJack »
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Offline HighOnSmoke

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Re: Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
« on: July 22, 2014, 02:22:21 PM »
 :D :D
Mike

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Offline drholly

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Re: Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2014, 02:36:06 PM »
Too funny!
You can't catch a fish if you don't get a line wet...
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Offline sliding_billy

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Re: Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2014, 02:44:01 PM »
I love the last one.
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Offline deestafford

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Re: Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2014, 04:05:49 PM »
I believe everyone of  them.  I've probably met half of those folks.  Dee
This post may contain misspellings, grammatical errors, disorganized sentence structure, misquotes, and lack a coherent theme.  These elements are natural to the process of writing, and will only add to the beauty of the post.

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Offline TMB

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Re: Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2014, 05:34:49 PM »
I love the last one.
Me to, very funny :D :D :D :D
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Offline IR2dum

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Re: Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2014, 06:09:48 PM »
I thought the NSA was supposed to keep my calls a secret.

Offline muebe

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Re: Actual calls to Golf Courses!!!
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2014, 07:24:31 PM »
 :D
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