According to the original poster on another forum, the author is anonymous but the poem is still great fun
Twas the night before Christmas
and all thru the pit
not a item was moving
not even the spit.
The utensils were hung on the smoker with care,
in hopes that the Q-team soon would be there.
The team was enroute in an old pickup truck,
to run out of gas might just be their luck.
I in my jacket and Ma in her apron,
was reading a menu, the air smelled like bacon.
When out on the yard, there was a loud crash,
I thought an old man might be makin' sour mash.
Out of the tent, running fast as I could,
OH, how I tripped on that dam pile of wood!
When what to my dirt filled eyes should appear,
but a shiney new rig and 6 pigs dressed as reindeer.
With a driver's who stomach, it just wouldn't budge
I knew in a minute, it must be St. Judge!
More rapid than chickens runnin' round in the yard
He spoke to his team, sounding more like the Bard.
"Now Pork Butt, now Ham Hocks, now Pig Snout and Knuckles
On Bacon, on Riblets" I let out a chuckle.
"To top of the tent, to top of the smoker,
now run away, run away, you little porker."
So up to the smoker, the piggies they flew.
They followed the route, they knew what to do.
Then in an instance, on top of my rig.
The piggies, they balanced, like doing a jig.
Almost tipping again, and almost went "plop",
I turned and saw Judge tip open the top.
He was dressed in his blue jeans and his BBQ cap
I swear I'll quit drinkin', oh please let me nap.
His eyes, they were smoke filled,
his clothes splatted with sauce.
And in the great judge tent ,
for he was the boss.
His mouth in the corner, was covered with Q,
and judging contestants, he knew what to do.
He held in his teeth an old chewed on bone.
"To do my job right, I must do it alone."
He had a broad face and stomach to beat
"This comes from eating 4 pounds of meat."
Some teams, they cook good 'que,
and some teams they don't.
Some people will learn,
and some people won't."
"Been all over this nation, been tasting some 'que.
And even found Yankees who knew what to do.
So this bit of advice I will give you tonight.
Presentation is all to make it judge right!"
He went to his rig and the piggies for hire,
they flew away fast like their butts were on fire.
And I heard him exclaim as he gave them a nudge
"Just do as I say and don't anger a judge."
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Hub
