I Received A Package

[ACW3]

I received a package from Amazon yesterday.  No sender was identified on the package.  I knew something was going on.  It just didn’t feel right.  Who had I offended so grievously that they would send this to me?  I could only think of one person.  HUB!!  It seems that he took my use of T*X@S P#TE in a previous post seriously, almost personally.  So, I sent him the picture below and asked him if he knew anything about this.  His response follows the picture.



“At a specially called meeting, in executive session to keep the press at bay, the Society for the Elimination of Sh*tty Second Rate Hot Sauces (SESSRHS) decided to take action concerning your recent use of a sauce so vile that it will not be named herein.  A flagrant violation at that, consisting of placing a picture of the offending concoction in such a way that it would be linked with your heretofore good name on a widely read and prestigious cooking forum, demeaned all good taste and insulted the palate of thousands.  We could not stand by idly!

Perhaps you were unaware that the offending liquid is named after a whore house fop who died with a bullet in his back and an ace up his sleeve.  Also, that such liquid is manufactured variously in Virginia, the Carolinas, and even New York City wherever rental vat space is available on the cheap.  Worse, it is promoted by giving cases of it away to unsuspecting dining establishment owners who then pass it on to unwitting patrons.  This makes it spread like a virus upon innocent souls.

SESSRHS has taken pity on you and also wishes to show leniency.  It is hoped that you will confess your faults and sincerely try to mend your ways.  One such faithful and atoning act on your part would be to eliminate the offending juice from your household and replace it with the bona fide, honorable and credible hot sauce SESSRHS has caused to be shipped to your abode.  DO NOT pour the offensive, vile concretion down your toilet as it is known to cause significant erosion not only to pipes but also to the very earth that they are buried in.  Discard it not with your household flotsam bound for the landfill.  Think Green.  Wrap it in an old sock and bury it, at midnight, alone, in your least favorite neighbor's yard and then walk away quickly.

The dawning of a new adventure awaits your taste buds!”

My response back to Hub is as follows.

“I am truly chastised for having used the offending product.  I know just the neighbor’s yard in which to bury the offender.  Thank you for setting me straight.  I have learned my lesson.”

I just had to share this with everyone.  It represents the lighter side of life and caring of a true friend.

Art

[sliding_billy]

Awesome! 

[drholly]

 

[Pappymn]

Hub has the same "word of the day" toilet paper that Tee uses???

[akruckus]

I have never had the chipotle flavor hot sauce but I can attest that brand makes a fine hot sauce.

[teesquare]

Hub has the same "word of the day" toilet paper that Tee uses???

No...Hub has reached the "Excelsior" level...His is two ply....

[SmokinKat]

That is too stinkin' funny!!!!   

[TentHunteR]

Too funny!

[GusRobin]

Art - is Tee your neighbor?  just asking

[Smokin Don]

That is funny!!! I love any of the Cholula!!! Don

[Hub]

Art has proven that he is a gentleman of the old school.  Most people would not have admitted such an egregious error and kept the unfortunate incident just between friends.  His election to publish the admonishment was a sincere act of contrition, a statement of character, and a testament to his inner strength and sense of humor.

Warning:  SESSRHS does not receive government funding (although it has often been applied for) or any private grants.  Anyone else who posts pictures of that rotten, offensive, gut-defiling liquid with which he caused to be ruined some perfectly good chicken wings will have to be placed on a waiting list subject to the whim of our executive director, Helen Waite.  If you want free Cholula, you'll have to go to Helen Waite.

Hub

[CDN Smoker]

Laughing hard, thank you

[TwoPockets]

Funny! 

[HighOnSmoke]

 

[ACW3]

Art has proven that he is a gentleman of the old school.  Most people would not have admitted such an egregious error and kept the unfortunate incident just between friends.  His election to publish the admonishment was a sincere act of contrition, a statement of character, and a testament to his inner strength and sense of humor.

Warning:  SESSRHS does not receive government funding (although it has often been applied for) or any private grants.  Anyone else who posts pictures of that rotten, offensive, gut-defiling liquid with which he caused to be ruined some perfectly good chicken wings will have to be placed on a waiting list subject to the whim of our executive director, Helen Waite.  If you want free Cholula, you'll have to go to Helen Waite.

Hub

Hub,
You are quite the character!  I love your writing and enjoy your humor and wit.  You never disappoint!  I am truly glad to call you a friend, and Brother.

Art